:: History ::
so anyway, A's back in town. it was weird after not seeing him for more than 2 years. sheesh... cldn't he have grown uglier, or become more snobbish, or fatter or something?? mauritius has been good to him, that much i can say... and as usual, whenever i see him, my stupid little heart just does flip-flops, then proceeds to run round the park 5 times!
i don't think i've ever written or said much about what happened between A and i. it's always been a sore spot with me, and im not sure if i will ever get over it... yes, i'm still saying this, even after 2 years. to the world, i'm a big girl. relationships come and go. so why should this be any different, right? well, not really... not to me. not this one.
we were together for a little over 2 years... and things were just peachy. great. the future looked bright and promising. his job took him places, travelling a fair bit for lengthy periods at times. mine had me keeping late hours. distance was never a problem with us though. we were independant when apart, yet seem to draw strength from each other when we were together. we were one of those couples who nvr really celebrated valentine's day, or an anniversary. bad at dates, we both were. all in all, it seemed like nothing could go wrong for us.
now, i'm not saying that we were the perfect couple. we had our fights, usually abt nothing in particular... we had our tiffs and differences... but even then, it was almost fun! trying to out talk each other. and well, with time apart, we needed invigorating conversation... one can only say 'i love you, baby' so many times before it starts to mean nothing.
i was also realistic. with the time we were apart, i didn't really expect him to, well, not fool around. my number rule was this - as long i never knew, it doesn't matter. i believe in ignorance is bliss. at times, one probably can't help it. you're away, you're alone, and there is someone there willing to give you phisical... so, fine. it's mindless, meaningless. as long as i never found out. and of course i wouldn't go around suspecting. asking questions. probing.
and this arrangement worked out fine.
until one day, which has since been known as 'the day'. we were at a friend's birthday. we arrived seperately, and he came by, gave me a 'hey, baby' kiss and went to his his usual group of drinking buddies to comiserate about who had the worse day at work. so there we were, just enjoying a night out with good friends, when out of the corner of my eye, i saw this woman go up to him, wrap her arms around him and kissed him! in front of all our friends. it was like a double whamy! double the humiliation! wait, make that triple! since everyone knew who that woman was! i just stared, in utter shock and disbelieve! if he had to fool around, did he have to do it with someone i knew? that all our friends knew?
i did what came naturally next. i bid farewell to the host, thanked him for a good time, dropped 50 bucks in the beer kitty, and bolted from the scene!!! there's only so much humilation i could take, and i think that was it.
A came after me, wanting to explain, but i didn't listen. i ended thinsg there and then. no calls, no emails, nothing. maybe a bit harsh, a bit unrelenting... some might even say he deserved a chance to explain himself.
but i couldn't face it. realistic as i was... even though i did say it wouldnn't be a surprise that something like this would happen... but for it to actually happen!! it hurt. so, so much. so much that i never wanted to see him again. how could he go from someone i could not live without, so someone i detested, in an instant?
A left for Mauritius shortly after that. took another job and stayed away, which was fine with me. fine for me. over the year, he tried sparadically to make contact, until finally settling to trying to explain the whole thing on a lengthy email.
meaningless... one time only... meant nothing... won't ever happen again, sorry...
well, sorry doesn't cut it, i guess... and now he's back. brings back a lot of memories... abd his wanting a second chance isn't helping...
need sleep.
so anyway, A's back in town. it was weird after not seeing him for more than 2 years. sheesh... cldn't he have grown uglier, or become more snobbish, or fatter or something?? mauritius has been good to him, that much i can say... and as usual, whenever i see him, my stupid little heart just does flip-flops, then proceeds to run round the park 5 times!
i don't think i've ever written or said much about what happened between A and i. it's always been a sore spot with me, and im not sure if i will ever get over it... yes, i'm still saying this, even after 2 years. to the world, i'm a big girl. relationships come and go. so why should this be any different, right? well, not really... not to me. not this one.
we were together for a little over 2 years... and things were just peachy. great. the future looked bright and promising. his job took him places, travelling a fair bit for lengthy periods at times. mine had me keeping late hours. distance was never a problem with us though. we were independant when apart, yet seem to draw strength from each other when we were together. we were one of those couples who nvr really celebrated valentine's day, or an anniversary. bad at dates, we both were. all in all, it seemed like nothing could go wrong for us.
now, i'm not saying that we were the perfect couple. we had our fights, usually abt nothing in particular... we had our tiffs and differences... but even then, it was almost fun! trying to out talk each other. and well, with time apart, we needed invigorating conversation... one can only say 'i love you, baby' so many times before it starts to mean nothing.
i was also realistic. with the time we were apart, i didn't really expect him to, well, not fool around. my number rule was this - as long i never knew, it doesn't matter. i believe in ignorance is bliss. at times, one probably can't help it. you're away, you're alone, and there is someone there willing to give you phisical... so, fine. it's mindless, meaningless. as long as i never found out. and of course i wouldn't go around suspecting. asking questions. probing.
and this arrangement worked out fine.
until one day, which has since been known as 'the day'. we were at a friend's birthday. we arrived seperately, and he came by, gave me a 'hey, baby' kiss and went to his his usual group of drinking buddies to comiserate about who had the worse day at work. so there we were, just enjoying a night out with good friends, when out of the corner of my eye, i saw this woman go up to him, wrap her arms around him and kissed him! in front of all our friends. it was like a double whamy! double the humiliation! wait, make that triple! since everyone knew who that woman was! i just stared, in utter shock and disbelieve! if he had to fool around, did he have to do it with someone i knew? that all our friends knew?
i did what came naturally next. i bid farewell to the host, thanked him for a good time, dropped 50 bucks in the beer kitty, and bolted from the scene!!! there's only so much humilation i could take, and i think that was it.
A came after me, wanting to explain, but i didn't listen. i ended thinsg there and then. no calls, no emails, nothing. maybe a bit harsh, a bit unrelenting... some might even say he deserved a chance to explain himself.
but i couldn't face it. realistic as i was... even though i did say it wouldnn't be a surprise that something like this would happen... but for it to actually happen!! it hurt. so, so much. so much that i never wanted to see him again. how could he go from someone i could not live without, so someone i detested, in an instant?
A left for Mauritius shortly after that. took another job and stayed away, which was fine with me. fine for me. over the year, he tried sparadically to make contact, until finally settling to trying to explain the whole thing on a lengthy email.
meaningless... one time only... meant nothing... won't ever happen again, sorry...
well, sorry doesn't cut it, i guess... and now he's back. brings back a lot of memories... abd his wanting a second chance isn't helping...
need sleep.
posted by Lynette at
10:46 PM
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